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Talking to Your Kids About Your Divorce
It’s wise to wait to discuss divorce with your children until you are positive that you will have divorce lawyers in Owings Mills file for divorce on your behalf. When you do discuss the matter, be prepared to be asked plenty of questions. Depending on the age of your children, they may be concerned about where they will live, whether they’ll still see both parents, and whether they can remain in the same school. If the child custody arrangement has not yet been determined, you can simply tell your children that they will still see mommy and daddy regularly.
For more advice on discussing divorce or legal separation, watch this interview with “Supernanny” Jo Frost. She cautions parents to avoid discussing the specific reasons for the divorce and to avoid disparaging the other parent in front of the kids.
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What You Need to Know About Modifying Alimony Agreements
If you plan to seek alimony, or spousal support, you must do so before the divorce is finalized. Speak with a family law attorney near Owings Mills about requesting alimony. As your divorce lawyer can advise you, the court has broad discretion in determining whether to award alimony, and if so, the amount of the payments and the length of time that alimony must be paid. Bear in mind that after the divorce, it is possible for either party to petition the court to have the alimony agreement modified. Alimony may be modifiable or non-modifiable.
Which Modifications May be Made?
If the alimony agreement has been established for a set time period, such as three years, then one possible modification is to extend its duration or to turn it into indefinite alimony. Other possible alimony modifications include terminating the payments and increasing or reducing the payments.
What Are the Grounds for Modifying Alimony Agreements?
Talk to your family lawyer to determine whether you have the basis for requesting a modification. Generally, alimony laws permit modifications due to significant changes in the circumstances of either party. For example, the spouse who receives alimony payments may obtain gainful employment, thus eliminating the need for support. Or, the receiving spouse may be unable to become self-supporting, which may necessitate the extension of alimony. Alimony payments may be reduced or terminated if the receiving spouse experiences a significant decline in expenses, inherits or is gifted substantial assets, or has a significant increase in income. Some of the changes in the circumstances of the party who pays alimony that may warrant a modification can include the loss of employment, significant reduction in wages, permanent disability or infirmity, or significant increase in income.
What Is a “Harsh and Inequitable Result?”
The judge may modify or terminate alimony payments if he or she determines that not doing so would lead to a “harsh and inequitable result.” Some examples of these situations include the legitimate retirement of the payor, the ability of the receiving spouse to become self-supporting, or other significant changes in circumstances.
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What Are the Benefits of Joint Custody?
Although divorce can be emotionally difficult for couples, it is particularly devastating for children. Child custody arrangements that allow for joint legal and shared physical custody are usually the best choice for the children because they minimize the negative effects of a broken household. If your family law attorney is working on your child custody case in Owings Mills, you should consider the possibility of joint custody . With joint custody, the children are less likely to blame themselves for the divorce or to feel as though one or both parents do not love them anymore.
Collaborative joint custody allows children to grow and develop in a healthy manner, and to feel that they can love both parents equally without betraying the other parent. One key aspect of making joint custody work after a divorce is to enforce continuity of household rules. Children who must adapt to different rules and expectations depending on which household they are in are more likely to feel resentful. Continuity across households prevents kids from feeling as though they’re “caught in the middle.”
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Tips for Keeping the Peace During a Divorce
Divorce has a reputation for being highly stressful, contentious, and sometimes downright hostile—with good reason. A marriage is an investment in another person that requires hard work and commitment. When it falls apart, there may be plenty of ill will and hurt feelings. But not every divorce has to be characterized by aggression or hostility. With the help of divorce lawyers in Baltimore County or the Owings Mills area, you and your spouse could choose to work collaboratively toward a mutually agreeable settlement. This is particularly important if the marriage produced minor children. Even if a wholly amicable divorce isn’t possible, it’s still wise to try to keep the peace.
Focus on Moving Forward
Marriage often involves making compromises and putting your spouse’s needs before your own. During a divorce or legal separation, it’s time to move forward and focus on your own needs. It’s perfectly alright to mourn for the loss of the marriage, but if you become preoccupied with the past, you may find yourself expressing your resentment to your spouse. Instead, try to look to the future. Make practical plans, such as arranging for housing and possibly counseling sessions with a mental health professional. Take care of your own physical and emotional needs. Plan future projects, such as taking up a new hobby, becoming a volunteer, or going back to school.
Try to Respond, Rather Than React
Keeping the peace during a divorce requires both spouses to refrain from engaging in uncivil behavior. However, even if your spouse treats you in a disrespectful manner, this does not mean that you have to react in a similar fashion. Instead of reacting to unpleasant situations, try to respond. The difference is that when you respond, you set aside strong emotions, consider the situation in a logical manner, and make reasonable decisions.
Consider Entering Into Mediation
Divorce laws in Maryland allow family court judges to require spouses to enter into mediation. However, even if the judge does not order mediation, you may wish to consider it. Mediation is especially ideal in cases involving minor children, since it can help preserve a cooperative relationship. You can speak to your attorney about private mediation options not provided by the court.
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Passport Rules for Children of Divorced Parents
After a divorce, you may wish to consult a child custody lawyer serving Baltimore County or the Owings Mills area regarding compliance with child custody laws , such as those that pertain to passports. Children under the age of 16 cannot apply for a passport by themselves. Provided the child does not have only one parent or guardian, both parents must appear in person with the child to apply for the child’s passport. If the divorce was not amicable and child custody was highly contentious, one parent may apply in person with the child, provided he or she has the consent of the other parent.
You can hear more about this complicated issue by watching this video. It explains that the parents must fill out and submit the DS-11 application. If both parents are not physically present with the child, then the application must be accompanied by a signed and notarized Form DS-3053: Statement of Consent from the other parent.
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Dispelling Common Myths About Child Custody Cases
Child custody laws vary from state to state. For information specific to your child custody case in Owings Mills or anywhere in Baltimore County, you’ll need to consult a family lawyer in Maryland. Your attorney can explain the aspects of family law that are applicable to your case and debunk any misconceptions you may have about child custody cases.
Myth: The Court Cannot Require Mediation
Under Maryland family law, the court is authorized to order mediation , depending on the circumstances. However, during mediation, the parents are not legally required to agree to the terms of a child custody arrangement. If mediation does not result in a settlement, the case goes before the judge. When deciding whether to make mediation mandatory, the judge will consider whether mediation is appropriate and beneficial to the parties or to the child. The court may not order mediation if there is reason to believe that the child or either party has been a victim of abuse.
Myth: Mothers Almost Always Gain Custody
Mothers frequently do gain child custody; however, family law is not biased toward either party. The judge will not consider the sex of the party when determining whether to grant custody. Rather, the judge will consider which arrangement is in the best interests of the child. If the mother works long hours outside the home, while the father works from home and has more time for the child, then the father may be more likely to gain primary physical custody.
Myth: Parents Can’t Write Their Own Custody Agreement
During a divorce or legal separation, parents often disagree about child custody arrangements. However, some parents are able to work through the issues in an amicable fashion. If both parents work together to develop a suitable child custody arrangement and they agree on the issues, they can write their own stipulation and consent order. If the judge agrees to this written document and signs it, then the order is legally enforceable.
Myth: The Custodial Parent Can Refuse Visitation
Both parents are legally required to abide by the terms of the custody order. The custodial parent cannot refuse the other parent’s visitation rights, even if the other parent has failed to pay child support. Likewise, the non-custodial parent must return the child to the custodial parent at the time specified in the order.
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How Is Child Support Calculated?
Child support is one of the many issues that must be resolved during divorce. Child custody laws require you to pay child support if you are the non-custodial parent. The amount of child support you must pay depends on many factors, including your state’s guidelines, the income of both parents, childcare needs, and medical expenses. For personalized guidance, you should contact a child custody lawyer serving Baltimore County and Owings Mills.
You can also watch this video for general information about child support after a divorce or legal separation. It explains that your family lawyer may instruct you to add any alimony you receive or subtract any alimony you pay when calculating your net annual income. Other factors that may influence the amount of child support include whether you currently pay child support for other children.
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Tips for Preparing Financially for Divorce
It’s no secret that divorce can create financial problems. You’ll need to pay court fees and the fees of your family law attorney near Owings Mills—and those are only the short-term financial consequences. On a long-term basis, you’ll most likely need to rearrange your budget to account for a single income. Depending on child custody, you may need to pay child support. Under family law , you may also have to pay alimony. Additionally, you may need to make alternative living arrangements. To place yourself in a position to move forward with your life as quickly as possible, it’s best to begin preparing financially for divorce as soon as you’ve made the decision to leave your spouse.
Make Copies of Important Documents
It’s not uncommon for one spouse to be less than completely aware of the household finances. However, your family attorney will need to review important documents such as your tax returns. Compile documents pertaining to investments, expenses, and debts, and make copies to bring to your appointment with the divorce lawyer.Make a List of Assets and Liabilities
While you’re sorting through your financial documents, begin making a list of all of your liabilities, or debts. Make a note of whether the debt is in your name, your spouse’s name, or held jointly. Similarly, make a list of all liquid assets, including bank accounts and investments, and non-liquid assets, such as real estate and vehicles.Establish Your Own Accounts
If you don’t already have your own bank accounts, it’s a good idea to open checking and savings accounts that are only in your name. However, avoid closing or removing your name from any joint accounts until you speak with your family attorney about this matter. Many people who are preparing for divorce also begin saving cash for legal fees and living expenses during the divorce proceedings.Speak with a Financial Advisor
Make an appointment with your financial advisor and inform him or her that you’re planning a divorce. He or she can help you understand any issues that may apply to your situation, such as changes in your taxes. Consulting a financial advisor is particularly important if the other spouse handled all or most of the household finances. The financial advisor can walk you through the basics of managing your accounts and creating a single-income budget. -
What Financial Factors Influence Divorce Settlements?
Along with child custody issues, financial matters are typically a top priority during divorce proceedings. Bring along all of your important financial documents when you meet with a divorce attorney serving Owings Mills. Your divorce lawyer will need to review your bank statements and tax refunds, for example. Portfolio holdings can also influence divorce settlements. These include any type of investments, such as stocks, bonds, mutual funds, private equity, hedge funds, exchange-traded funds, and futures. All of these are liquid assets.
Non-liquid assets can also significantly influence divorce settlements. Your divorce lawyer will need to know about property that you own, such as homes, vacation homes, vehicles, high-end jewelry, artwork, and similar physical property. As your family lawyer can explain to you, the court will consider the entirety of your finances when determining how to divide assets and liabilities. Other factors may be relevant to your situation, such as whether one party is ordered to pay alimony or child support.
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If a Child Custody Agreement Is Violated
Ideally, child custody issues are resolved with a court order. Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for an ex-spouse to violate this arrangement, even if it is a legal document ordered by the court. If the ex-spouse violates any clause in the child custody order, you should contact your child custody lawyer serving Owings Mills right away. Your divorce lawyer will evaluate the situation and provide legal guidance.
Have Certified Copies of the Court Order
You should always have certified copies of the child custody order on hand. If you only have a verbal agreement with your ex-spouse regarding parenting time, you need to contact a divorce lawyer and request help obtaining a court-ordered child custody arrangement. If the divorce was particularly contentious and your ex-spouse has a history of hostile behavior, you may wish to keep a certified copy of the court order with you when it’s time to pick up your child.Consider Communication with the Other Parent
The police and the courts do not generally encourage requesting enforcement actions for minor violations of the court order. Consider whether the nature of the violation may have harmed your child in any way. If not, consider discussing the violation with the other parent. It may be best to do so in writing, such as by email, so that there is a record of the communication.Keep a Record of Violations
In addition to keeping records of your communication with your ex-spouse, it’s important to keep detailed records of each violation. As soon as the violation occurs or you become aware of it, write down the date and exactly what happened. Make a note of how the incident specifically violated a clause of the court order.Consider Police Intervention
For serious violations of a child custody order, consider contacting your local police department. For example, if you go to your ex-spouse’s home to pick up your child and he or she refuses to let the child go with you, you should generally call the police. Remember that the police cannot take any action unless they see a certified copy of the court order.Contact Your Family Lawyer
Keep your family lawyer informed of the violations. Your family lawyer can send a notice to your ex-spouse advising him or her of the court order. If needed, your lawyer can request that the judge hold the parent in contempt of court.